Friday, June 13, 2014

30 Days of Star Wars: Day 13

Disney Buys Star Wars

(originally written in November, 2012)

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened" - Obi-Wan Kenobi


Unless you've been living somewhere with no access to the internet, you've probably heard all about this deal, and seen this picture.  George Lucas has sold Lucasfilm Ltd, Skywalker Sound, and Industrial Light & Magic to Disney for a whopping 4 BILLION dollars.  Oh, and Disney is already planning on making three more Star Wars movies set after Return of the Jedi....with George involved, in a small role.

When I first read about this, I almost threw up...and I'm not kidding!  DISNEY will now own EVERYTHING that has to do with my BELOVED Star Wars, and Indiana Jones....was George Lucas on drugs?  Disney is all about cartoons, not live action movies; are the new movies going to be cartoons? (more on that thought later)  My mind also immediately went to what a stupid idea three more movies is.  Does Disney not remember the train wreck now known as The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith?



I don't have anything against Disney, really I don't.  I watch Phineas & Ferb, and other Disney channel shows with Brandon every day.  Each year Disneyworld hosts a huge Star Wars weekend where, among other events, they host Dance Off with the Star Wars Stars.  It makes me laugh every year. Here's part of the 2011 weekend.



I just don't like this idea....at all.

I read articles about this for a few days, knowing that I was definitely going to write about this.  I mean, come on, I have a Star Wars Saturday page on my blog!  Instead of writing about my snap judgement, I waited to see if any of the research would change my mind.  It did....a little bit.

So here it is; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the potential surrounding the Disney/Lucas deal.

The Good:
Disney owns Marvel.  I didn't know this until a few days ago.  They are responsible for Iron Man, Thor, The Avengers.  Let's face it...those movies are AWESOME.  Hope began to spring.

Disney owns Pixar.  George Lucas created Pixar, sold it to Steve Jobs in the 1980s, and then Jobs sold it to Disney.  Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Cars, are all Pixar movies, and are FANTASTIC.  Knowing that Disney has also created great movies with Pixar, my hope continued to grow.  Maybe they wouldn't screw this up.

George Lucas won't be the director of the next three movies.  HALLELUIAH!!!  This is probably the BEST news.  Of the six Star Wars movies, by far the best one is The Empire Strikes Back; directed by Irvin Kershner.  If Disney springs for a great director, like Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams, Jon Favreau, maybe there is potential.

This one is both good and bad.  In regards to the story for episodes 7-9:  most hard core Star Wars fans consider The Thrawn Trilogy to be the only way to go.  It is the Bible for the Star Wars expanded universe.  It begins five years after Return of the Jedi.  All the expanded universe (EU for short) books began here, with this incredible story.  Hope continued to spring that maybe these books would be adapted to the screenplay.



I read that Lucas will be giving the majority of the 4 billion to charity.  That made me smile more than you know.  Kudos to George for that.  However, I'm a charity....could you send some my way, George?!?


The Bad:



The Clone Wars is a very successful cartoon currently on Cartoon Network.  It is the story of what happens to Anakin, Obi-Wan, and all the other Jedi and Sith after Attack of the Clones and before Revenge of the Sith.  It's a fantastic cartoon and it works because there are familiar characters.  It also allows for many characters to be created that we've never seen before.  What happens to it?  I read that they might be moving it over to the Disney XD channel.  Sorry Cartoon Network; looks like you're going to loose one of the biggest shows on your channel.

I read the next day that the new Star Wars movies were going to be original stories.  That means no Thrawn Trilogy.  There was a collective sigh among fans when we heard this.  Where hard core fans wanted to see this story on the big screen, myself included, we also realized that meant new actors for our heroes.  NO ONE except Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher can play Luke, Han, and Leia.  There's NO WAY they would, or even COULD do it now.  Beside the fact that they are in their late 60s, early 70s, they wouldn't be DUMB enough to do it again.  Heck, George Lucas had to beg Harrison Ford to come back for Return of the Jedi.  Ford thought Han Solo should've died in the carbon freezing.

How do you bring these three crucial characters into the story without replacing the actors?  And if you try, will Star Wars fans accept another actor in those roles....probably not.  I will have a very hard time accepting that, if it happens.


The Ugly:
(I'm really upset about this one!)



Leia is now considered a Disney Princess.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Disney princesses sing, dance, talk to animals, dishes, and trees.  In comparison to the Star Wars universe, Disney princesses want superficial things.  Ariel wanted to walk on the sand, Snow White was waiting for her prince to come, Jasmine was bored and wanted to be shown the world, as was Rapunzel.  They are railroad thin, and wield frying pans as weapons, NOT BLASTERS!  Disney can own Star Wars, but LEIA IS NOT A DISNEY PRINCESS!  SHE'S NOT EVEN A REAL PRINCESS!! Remember, Georgie Boy made the prequels and we discovered that Leia isn't really a princess, because Padme was an ELECTED queen, not a "real" queen...but I digress.

Look at these pictures, what is wrong with them?











Beside the fact that Leia isn't dressed in a nice princess gown, she's holding a blaster!  Yep, real Disney princess-like, don't you agree?


I'm also simply not excited about three more movies.  I remember in 1997 when Lucas re-released the original (well, the altered original) in the theaters.  We were so excited about the prequels.  And then they were released.  They were, and still are AWFUL.  And after the prequels, and the many therapy sessions I had to attend after their release, I don't want three more movies!



Does this picture move anyone to puke like it does me?  The idea that our beloved characters are being reduced to look like Disney characters makes me sad.  It's OK if it's one weekend a year, but now it will become a staple.  Goofy dressed up like Darth Vader....really?  And why is he wearing red boxers on the outside of his outfit?  I fear that Star Wars is being turned into a big joke.



The Potential:
In the end it comes down to the story.  Will it be live action or a cartoon?  A great live action movie, with a great director has potential.  If they're able to find a way around not using our three main heroes, or finding actors who are very similar to those we know and love, it might work.  No more Jar-Jar Binks and other stupid characters that make us want to poke our eyes out with a fork!  

I hope that it works.  I hope that the legacy of Star Wars, which managed to survive the prequels, and Lucas's CONSTANT revisions of the originals, can make it through this.  I am so skeptical, but for the sake of my beloved movies, I hope that whatever comes to theaters in 2015 doesn't suck.  I'm not holding my breath.


In Conclusion:
We've gone from this COMPLETE AWESOMENESS:



to this COMPLETE AWFULNESS:



The world will never be the same again.



Vader, I couldn't have said it better if I wanted to.



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