Saturday, June 27, 2015

Did You Think To Pray?

Well, after having such a difficult few weeks, I got on my knees yesterday and had a screaming conversation (through prayer), with Heavenly Father.  I've been angry, frustrated, confused, and I needed to find peace with having to move back into an apartment, peace with my job situation, peace with many, many things.

I was planning to go and see a townhouse that morning, so during my screaming prayer I asked to know whether it was the right place to go.  I REALLY wanted to move there, because the thought of going all the way back to an apartment made me want to puke.  Apartment living sucks, and I have felt that by this point in life, we should be past that.

I went over to the townhouse complex, and toured the model home.  We had lived in the "sister" complex to this place back when we lived in Draper, so I was really excited.  It was really nice.  I happened to ask about the washer and dryer; whether we could hook up our own.  Nope.  Yikes, that became a huge strike against them.  We love our washer/dryer, and we want to USE them, not put them in my sister's garage!  I continued the tour and noticed there was no linen closet for towels and bed sheets, no way to put a shelf above the washer and dryer for our detergent to sit, and the parking was VERY far from the house.  I still left a holding deposit, but I knew that Nick wasn't going to be happy about the washer/dryer situation.

Once home, I began writing a pro/con list.  This place is smoke and pet free: BIG pro.  That was about the only pro I could come up with.  The townhouse was in a location that provides no privacy, and like I mentioned earlier, we wouldn't be able to use our beloved washer and dryer or have the other few amenities that we would like:  especially for the price they wanted.  Needless to say, I was bummed and wondering what we were going to do.

Later that day, I had the feeling that I should go over to an apartment complex that is near our current house, and one that I've done research on before. Online it looked like a nice place, but I didn't seriously look into it was an apartment and that was the LAST place I wanted to go.

Brandon and I went over, and we toured the model.  I LOVED IT!  We could use our washer and dryer, it has a linen closet, a pantry, and a shelf in the laundry room.  Parking is much closer, the apartment we would be getting is in a more secluded spot, and it's on the 3rd floor, where no one will be above us.  Sure, moving in and climbing the stairs with groceries won't be fun, but I could use the exercise!  The apartment is also about $150 less than the townhouse, and 200 square feet bigger! It's the perfect size for the 3 of us, and the apartment community has beautiful landscaping and a very nice feel about it.  I couldn't believe it, but I found myself WANTING to move into this apartment!  I was stunned.  The night before I'd had a huge conversation with Nick, begging him to find the money in the budget for us to go to the townhouses. Suddenly I was completely happy with moving into this complex.  It was an answer to my screaming prayer from the morning.

As I continued to talk with the nice lady in the office, everything came together.  We'll be able to start moving into the new place throughout the month of August since we'll have to pay rent for the place we're in now because the lease won't be up yet.  We can live in the new place, get it completely set up BEFORE school starts, and spend more time cleaning this house so that we can get as much of the deposit back as possible.  We won't have to RUSH to move this time, like we've had to do the past 3 times.

As I mentioned in my last post, this has been a very difficult year.  I have finally found the answers I've been looking for.  I am at peace with why I am at my current job, that it's where I should be right now.  I am at peace regarding where we will be living in August. The answers didn't come when I wanted them, they came when they were supposed to.

Life is full of trials.  How we handle them is what is important.  Next time we find ourselves angry, frustrated, and confused, we need to remember this:

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

In My Life

Yep, it's been a while since I've been on my blog. Do you like the overhaul?

Image result for why me images
Without a doubt, this has been one of the hardest years of my life.  After having so much success finding another job, and finding it so quickly, the new job turned out to be very difficult and took an enormous toll on my health.  It was beyond stressful and due to this I had to step down from being a full time teacher, and was a paraprofessional instead.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a paraprofessional is like a teacher's aide.  Once the decision was made, I took boxes into "my classroom" for the last time, took everything off the walls, and began packing up the items that were mine...crying the entire time.

The first week after I left my class was VERY DIFFICULT.  My students weren't told why I was no longer their teacher.  They would ask me why I wasn't their teacher anymore when they saw me in the hallway at school.  There wasn't much I could tell them besides, "It's just a decision that was made".  It broke my heart every time.

During this ordeal, I continued to wonder WHY this was happening, and WHY I had picked this school out of the other offers that were given to me.  At the time Nick and I both felt so sureso confident about this choice...what the heck was going on?  It was a daily struggle.

As time went on, the question of "Why did we pick this job?" was answered.  Well, at any other charter school, I would've had a MASSIVE pay cut going from a full-time teacher to a paraprofessional.  Here, I was able to keep the same pay, just go to hourly.  It was still a big hit financially, but not nearly as bad as it could've been.  Most paraprofessionals make half what I do.  The question of "Why this job?" was now answered.  My stress level was much less, and I was still able to teach reading and math groups, and interact with students, so that made the hit a little easier to take.  I continue to look for another full-time teaching job, but as of right now, I'll be returning to my paraprofessional job when school starts again in August.

We knew that once our current lease was up this September, we would be moving out of this house.  There are only 3 of us, and West Jordan is an INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE place to live. Again, because of my health, we have to live somewhere that is close to wherever I work.  So, we will be downsizing.  If I find another full-time job, we won't have to downsize quite as much.  If I stay at my current job, we'll be downsizing even more....much to my YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!  This November we will have lived in Utah for 5 years and we will have moved FIVE times (Sandy, Draper, Tooele, West Jordan, and wherever we end up next).  Ummm, enough already.  This next move needs to be somewhere we can stay for a while because I am DONE WITH MOVING!  We need stability.  Brandon has made friends with kids on our street, and he'll loose that soon, which kills me.

Each time we move, we have to change church wards.  Since there are so many Mormons in Utah, the boundaries for each ward are small.  If you move a few blocks, you are in a new ward, or group of people you go to church with.  This means each time we move, we have to leave the people we know, and attempt to learn the names of all the new people...which is not easy for me at all.  We've been here almost a year, and I only know the names of a few people.  I knew we were going to leave again, so why bother!  Heck, we didn't even hang pictures on the walls of this house because we figured we'd move again and it would be less work when it was time to pack again; plus, we wouldn't have holes to cover up!  It's frustrating.

Since we will have to downsize, I'm holding a garage sale sometime next month.  I want to get ride of EVERYTHING we haven't touched, looked at, or used in over a year.  We have a basement FULL of stuff to get rid of.  This has become my daily task, since successful garage sales take A LOT of time and effort to put together.  I've spent many hours researching on the internet regarding how to do this correctly.

For now we are in limbo.  As of right now, we have no idea where I will be working come August, and we have NO IDEA where we will be living September just won't be here.  I will begin packing the house up AGAIN starting next week.  It's a little early to do that, but I want it ready to go so that the minute we know what is happening come August, we can just pack the truck and leave.

Moving on.

Brandon turned 8 this last March.  He made the decision to be baptized and become an official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. Suddenly 8 years have past, and he's gone

from this:

to this:

Where has the time gone?  It was a fabulous day spent with family.

The sweetest part about all of this has been watching him read the set of scriptures that Grandma and Grandpa got for him.

I will survive.  I always do.  Somehow, we will be okay.  I have NO IDEA how, but I know we will be.

To end on a happy note...have you seen the latest Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer?!?  Holy cow, I almost peed my pants when I watched it!  The last 10 seconds alone made it all worth it!  I can't WAIT for December 18th!  That Friday I'll go see it with Nick, then the next day I'll see it with Brandon!