NeuroPace RNS Surgery: Half of My Life

I began having seizures when I was 19.  I turn 38 this October.  I realized a few days ago that I have been dealing with epilepsy for half of my life.  19 years ago when I had my first Grand Mal seizure in the cafeteria of BYU-Idaho, I had no idea that so many years later it would continue to control my life.

If you're unaware of my epilepsy history, you can read here to get caught up.  From this article there are many links to past blog posts regarding my story.  (There are also many other fun blog posts from when I did this MUCH more frequently!)

About a year ago, I was meeting with my neurologist when she told me about a new procedure called RNS (responsive neurostimulation).  It's very difficult to understand, so here's a video describing the procedure.






My initial reaction to this was "OVER MY DEAD BODY".  The LAST thing I wanted to subject myself to, was actual brain surgery.  The RNS is very similar to the VNS device that I currently have.  Sure, I've had the VNS surgeries, but this is way more than making a small cut into my chest.  RNS surgery is opening up my entire head!  That was all I had wanted to hear about this procedure and the subject was dropped.

I had my VNS device replaced in November, 2013.  Since that time, my seizures have continued, and even increased.  The VNS device, and many medications I've taken, are proving to no longer work.  The time had come to find something else that would help restore me to a "normal" life.  Our attention focused once again on the RNS surgery.  We received more information from my doctor, and were told that the results from this procedure were changing lives, for the better.  There was a DRASTIC decrease in the amount of seizures these patients were having, and our thoughts were that if those who were having hundreds of seizures a month were now only have 20 - 30 each month, then it should work wonders for me.  On average, I have between 10 - 15 each month.  We decided to begin doing the required tests that would determine if I was even a candidate for this surgery.

An MRI I had in December showed us that my seizures were changing.  Instead of coming from the same side of my brain that they've been coming from for the past 19 years due to the malformation inside my brain, they are now coming from many different places.  We had no idea that seizures could do this, so we were caught off guard, and a little startled by this.  For the past year my seizures had begun changing.  Usually if I had a seizure, it would be the only one I'd have that day.  Now when I have one, it's almost a guarantee that I'll have at least 2 more during the same day.  The last seizure I had took me nearly 30 minutes to completely recover from.  The tests showed that I was a candidate for the surgery.

We met with the neurosurgeon in March to get as much information as possible, and to get answers to many questions:

1- What is the next step?
A procedure called Depth Electrode Placement would need to be done.  I would be admitted into the ICU and have surgery where 10 - 15 electrodes would be placed on different parts of my actual brain and make a map showing where my seizures are coming from, so that the doctor could know exactly where the RNS needs to be implanted.  This means there would be holes drilled into my skull so the electrodes could go onto my brain.

2- How long does the procedure last?
I will be taken off all my seizure medication, stuck in a hospital bed, unable to leave it for ANYTHING; no shower, walking around to stretch, getting up to use the restroom; NOTHING until the doctor has seen 3 or 4 seizures that will provide them with the information they need to more accurately place the RNS.  So basically, we have no idea how long I'll be stuck in that bed, unable to get up.  They make you stay in bed because they are also video taping me so they can see my seizures. More often than not, a patient will have seizures while they're not in the bed...defeating the entire purpose of the person being there!  Realizing that every hour spent in the ICU will cost THOUSANDS of dollars, the hope is that once I'm taken off my medication I will begin having seizures very quickly!



Based off of pictures on Google, I believe this is what the depth electrode placement portion of the surgery will look like.  This picture also helps me understand why I won't be allowed to get up.  It looks like it wouldn't be very easy!!

2- Will I loose my hair?
The doctor says that since I have long, thick hair I won't have to have my head shaved.  He believes that I should be able to comb my hair over the holes that he says are very tiny.  I am more skeptical about this. There are only so many ways you can do a "comb over" before it simply becomes ridiculous; so we'll see. When I first heard this, I wanted to die.  Who wants to loose all their hair?

This is a picture from Google when I searched RNS surgery.  There were many like this and it's why I believe it's very possible that I might loose my hair.  I've grown used to the idea and have decided that if I do loose my hair, I'll buy the coverings that chemotherapy patients wear.

My neurosurgeon told us that all the patients he's done this on have had no issues having the surgery approved by their respective insurance companies, and I was put on the schedule for July 5th.  They wouldn't go for approval until a month before, so it became a waiting game.

After calling the insurance company each week in June (I'm a squeaky wheel!), the decision came out last Friday (which was also my wedding anniversary) that the insurance company had DENIED my surgery. After spending MONTHS mentally preparing for this, having friends put in place to watch Brandon while I was in the hospital, and having Nick request work off, it was over...just like that.  Doing EVERYTHING I could not to obviously cry on the phone, I asked what my options were now.  I could write a letter appealing the decision and request a peer to peer meeting where my neurosurgeon would specifically talk to a doctor from my insurance company and plead my case.  Why this isn't done to begin with is beyond me!  Three different time slots were allotted for the peer to peer meeting, and I was told it could take MONTHS for a final decision to be made.  I spent the next hour in uncontrollable tears.  Not only was I not able to have the surgery during the summer, which meant not missing work, and making the process much easier for my family and I, but I might not even have it done at all!

Not willing to give up, and with my mom's help reminding me about all the issues I've had over the years (because my memory has been GREATLY effected by all of my seizures ) I wrote and faxed this letter to the appeals department 2 hours after the decision came out last Friday.

My name is Wendy Toale. A decision came out today to deny the multiple procedures my neurosurgeon has asked for because “deep brain stimulation is medically unproven to be helpful”, which is the quote I was given regarding the denial as read to me by a United Healthcare worker. Do you realize that deep brain stimulation is needed before a Responsive Neurostimulator (RNS) can be properly, SAFELY installed into the brain?

I have suffered from epilepsy for almost 20 years and it has COMPLETELY taken over my life. I’m almost 38 years old and have no independence. Where I work dictates where we live since I rely on others for everything I have to do in my life. Epilepsy has taken away my livelihood. I spent thousands of dollars to obtain my teaching credential, but no one will hire me to teach in a classroom alone. I am now a teacher’s aide making less than half of my potential, without medical insurance, vacation pay, and not even earning money towards retirement; all things that people find crucial to their survival in life. 

Discrimination is a constant for me. I live each day in fear, wondering when the next seizure will happen, and where I’ll be when it does. It is humiliating. I can’t sing, or perform on the piano in public anymore because I never know when a seizure is going to hit. My son has had to watch his mother have seizures. I am supposed to be his protector. Instead, he’s ended up having to grow up much more quickly, and has in many ways become my protector. I'm also unable to safely have any more children due to the harmful side effects of all the medication that I'm on.  

I’ve had seizures where I walk away from people in the middle of conversations with them. They don’t understand why I walked away, and it makes me look like a horribly rude person. Search parties have been sent out to look for me on a number of occasions because I’ve gone walking off during a seizure.  Every time I have a seizure, brain cells die.  I suffer from debilitating migraines, and we’ve discovered that my seizures are now coming from different parts of my brain, which is very disturbing.

I have been on many different medications that have all failed. I’ve had a Vagus Nerve Stimulator implanted. For 6 incredible years it worked, making me seizure free, and then the lead broke, which RARELY happens. Since the replacement of that lead, the device is no longer working the way it used to. My seizures continue to increase not only in frequency, but also the length that they last. Years ago they would last only a few seconds. Now they can go a good 5 minutes. And I have no idea what has happened during that time. I rely on others to tell me what happened while I was having a seizure.

I need, I DESERVE the best FDA approved procedure there is to restore my life to as normal as possible.  I have studied and read everything I can get my hands on regarding this procedure and my neurologist, neurosurgeon, and I agree that I am a perfect candidate. When the idea of the procedure was first presented to me a year ago, it was the scariest thing I’d ever heard of. Brain surgery isn’t something that people jump to have done. It took me months and months to decide that this was the best shot to help me lead a normal life. There are still many unknowns regarding this entire process. I am still scared. But I know with all my heart that this is the best thing for me, and you can’t take this away from me. This is the best chance for the normal life that I haven’t had in almost 20 years.

RNS has been put through clinical trials. The data now shows that with every year, even within months, seizures become less and less. Patients who would suffer from hundreds of seizures each month are now only having 20 or 30 each month. Isn’t that INCREDIBLE? Patients are getting their driver’s license back, they are regaining their independence. Insurance companies everywhere have been approving this procedure. Why would they do this if RNS hasn’t been proven to work? 

How much worse do I need to get before you will consider the newest and best treatment available?  There is no rhyme or reason to my seizures. I had the Vagus Nerve Stimulator implanted because I used to have auras...I could detect when a seizure was coming and use the device to stop them. I can’t detect them in advance anymore to prevent them from happening. This is why the RNS would be so beneficial for me. The device would detect, and stop the seizures for me. Short of continuing down the road of constantly changing medications that are expensive and have horrible side effects, I don’t know what to do. If Cannabis had been approved in Utah I would be going down that road. It is helping so many people decrease the number of seizures they have. Unfortunately I don’t have the finances to relocate to Colorado, where it is legal to use Cannabis.

I hope that this letter, that my story will help you to see how imperative this procedure is for my health; both mental and physical. It will not only improve my quality of life in amazing ways, but it will also improve the lives of my family members who help me deal with this on a daily basis.

This is the best way I can describe what my last 19 years have been like.  It once again became a waiting game.  I cancelled all the help I needed for Brandon, our family made camping plans, and life moved on.

Just this morning, I called the neurosurgeon's office to find out if the peer to peer meeting had happened yesterday as scheduled.  The meeting was hopefully going to happen this afternoon.  3 hours later I received a phone call from the neurosurgeon's nurse:  my insurance company had approved my surgery, and they still want to do the surgery on the 5th...4 days from today!  The doctor's nurse said that she'd be working like crazy this afternoon making sure that everyone who would be involved with the surgery is still available, and that I would be hearing from her by the end of the day.  Once again, it became a waiting game.  Only this time, I knew the surgery would happen...I just didn't know when.

Well, turns out the blessings are in my favor today.  I will be having the surgery done this Tuesday.  I have no idea how long I'll be in the hospital.  I know it will be the most BORING, and difficult stay ever since I can't leave the bed for any reason at all, so I'll be bringing books to read, and thankfully they have WiFi; so Netflix will once again become my best friend!

I'm VERY nervous, and I have A LOT of planning to do before Tuesday morning at 5:15AM when they want me to check in!  Like I said, I'll have WiFi access, so I'll do my best to update everyone about what's happening as the week goes by.  We know this is the right course for me to take.  There are still A LOT of unknowns, so I will GLADLY take all the prayers in the world!

Here goes nothing...

Did You Think To Pray?

Well, after having such a difficult few weeks, I got on my knees yesterday and had a screaming conversation (through prayer), with Heavenly Father.  I've been angry, frustrated, confused, and I needed to find peace with having to move back into an apartment, peace with my job situation, peace with many, many things.

I was planning to go and see a townhouse that morning, so during my screaming prayer I asked to know whether it was the right place to go.  I REALLY wanted to move there, because the thought of going all the way back to an apartment made me want to puke.  Apartment living sucks, and I have felt that by this point in life, we should be past that.

I went over to the townhouse complex, and toured the model home.  We had lived in the "sister" complex to this place back when we lived in Draper, so I was really excited.  It was really nice.  I happened to ask about the washer and dryer; whether we could hook up our own.  Nope.  Yikes, that became a huge strike against them.  We love our washer/dryer, and we want to USE them, not put them in my sister's garage!  I continued the tour and noticed there was no linen closet for towels and bed sheets, no way to put a shelf above the washer and dryer for our detergent to sit, and the parking was VERY far from the house.  I still left a holding deposit, but I knew that Nick wasn't going to be happy about the washer/dryer situation.

Once home, I began writing a pro/con list.  This place is smoke and pet free: BIG pro.  That was about the only pro I could come up with.  The townhouse was in a location that provides no privacy, and like I mentioned earlier, we wouldn't be able to use our beloved washer and dryer or have the other few amenities that we would like:  especially for the price they wanted.  Needless to say, I was bummed and wondering what we were going to do.

Later that day, I had the feeling that I should go over to an apartment complex that is near our current house, and one that I've done research on before. Online it looked like a nice place, but I didn't seriously look into it because...it was an apartment and that was the LAST place I wanted to go.

Brandon and I went over, and we toured the model.  I LOVED IT!  We could use our washer and dryer, it has a linen closet, a pantry, and a shelf in the laundry room.  Parking is much closer, the apartment we would be getting is in a more secluded spot, and it's on the 3rd floor, where no one will be above us.  Sure, moving in and climbing the stairs with groceries won't be fun, but I could use the exercise!  The apartment is also about $150 less than the townhouse, and 200 square feet bigger! It's the perfect size for the 3 of us, and the apartment community has beautiful landscaping and a very nice feel about it.  I couldn't believe it, but I found myself WANTING to move into this apartment!  I was stunned.  The night before I'd had a huge conversation with Nick, begging him to find the money in the budget for us to go to the townhouses. Suddenly I was completely happy with moving into this complex.  It was an answer to my screaming prayer from the morning.

As I continued to talk with the nice lady in the office, everything came together.  We'll be able to start moving into the new place throughout the month of August since we'll have to pay rent for the place we're in now because the lease won't be up yet.  We can live in the new place, get it completely set up BEFORE school starts, and spend more time cleaning this house so that we can get as much of the deposit back as possible.  We won't have to RUSH to move this time, like we've had to do the past 3 times.

As I mentioned in my last post, this has been a very difficult year.  I have finally found the answers I've been looking for.  I am at peace with why I am at my current job, that it's where I should be right now.  I am at peace regarding where we will be living in August. The answers didn't come when I wanted them, they came when they were supposed to.

Life is full of trials.  How we handle them is what is important.  Next time we find ourselves angry, frustrated, and confused, we need to remember this:

In My Life

Yep, it's been a while since I've been on my blog. Do you like the overhaul?

Without a doubt, this has been one of the hardest years of my life.  After having so much success finding another job, and finding it so quickly, the new job turned out to be very difficult and took an enormous toll on my health.  It was beyond stressful and due to this I had to step down from being a full time teacher, and was a paraprofessional instead.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, a paraprofessional is like a teacher's aide.  Once the decision was made, I took boxes into "my classroom" for the last time, took everything off the walls, and began packing up the items that were mine...crying the entire time.

The first week after I left my class was VERY DIFFICULT.  My students weren't told why I was no longer their teacher.  They would ask me why I wasn't their teacher anymore when they saw me in the hallway at school.  There wasn't much I could tell them besides, "It's just a decision that was made".  It broke my heart every time.

During this ordeal, I continued to wonder WHY this was happening, and WHY I had picked this school out of the other offers that were given to me.  At the time Nick and I both felt so sure, so confident about this choice...what the heck was going on?  It was a daily struggle.

As time went on, the question of "Why did we pick this job?" was answered.  Well, at any other charter school, I would've had a MASSIVE pay cut going from a full-time teacher to a paraprofessional.  Here, I was able to keep the same pay, just go to hourly.  It was still a big hit financially, but not nearly as bad as it could've been.  Most paraprofessionals make half what I do.  The question of "Why this job?" was now answered.  My stress level was much less, and I was still able to teach reading and math groups, and interact with students, so that made the hit a little easier to take.  I continue to look for another full-time teaching job, but as of right now, I'll be returning to my paraprofessional job when school starts again in August.

We knew that once our current lease was up this September, we would be moving out of this house.  There are only 3 of us, and West Jordan is an INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE place to live. Again, because of my health, we have to live somewhere that is close to wherever I work.  So, we will be downsizing.  If I find another full-time job, we won't have to downsize quite as much.  If I stay at my current job, we'll be downsizing even more....much to my YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!  This November we will have lived in Utah for 5 years and we will have moved FIVE times (Sandy, Draper, Tooele, West Jordan, and wherever we end up next).  Ummm, enough already.  This next move needs to be somewhere we can stay for a while because I am DONE WITH MOVING!  We need stability.  Brandon has made friends with kids on our street, and he'll loose that soon, which kills me.

Each time we move, we have to change church wards.  Since there are so many Mormons in Utah, the boundaries for each ward are small.  If you move a few blocks, you are in a new ward, or group of people you go to church with.  This means each time we move, we have to leave the people we know, and attempt to learn the names of all the new people...which is not easy for me at all.  We've been here almost a year, and I only know the names of a few people.  I knew we were going to leave again, so why bother!  Heck, we didn't even hang pictures on the walls of this house because we figured we'd move again and it would be less work when it was time to pack again; plus, we wouldn't have holes to cover up!  It's frustrating.

Since we will have to downsize, I'm holding a garage sale sometime next month.  I want to get ride of EVERYTHING we haven't touched, looked at, or used in over a year.  We have a basement FULL of stuff to get rid of.  This has become my daily task, since successful garage sales take A LOT of time and effort to put together.  I've spent many hours researching on the internet regarding how to do this correctly.

For now we are in limbo.  As of right now, we have no idea where I will be working come August, and we have NO IDEA where we will be living September 1st...it just won't be here.  I will begin packing the house up AGAIN starting next week.  It's a little early to do that, but I want it ready to go so that the minute we know what is happening come August, we can just pack the truck and leave.

Moving on.

Brandon turned 8 this last March.  He made the decision to be baptized and become an official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. Suddenly 8 years have past, and he's gone

from this:

to this:

Where has the time gone?  It was a fabulous day spent with family.

The sweetest part about all of this has been watching him read the set of scriptures that Grandma and Grandpa got for him.

I will survive.  I always do.  Somehow, we will be okay.  I have NO IDEA how, but I know we will be.

To end on a happy note...have you seen the latest Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer?!?  Holy cow, I almost peed my pants when I watched it!  The last 10 seconds alone made it all worth it!  I can't WAIT for December 18th!  That Friday I'll go see it with Nick, then the next day I'll see it with Brandon!

Change Is Never Easy

...especially when you weren't looking for it to begin with.

The past 2 months have been a challenge...a HUGE challenge.  I thought loosing my job was difficult.  I was wrong.  That was the easy part!

After I obtained a new job, many decisions had to be made, and quickly.  Should we stay in Tooele, in a house we LOVE and commute into town so that we could stay in our fabulous ward and near our terrific friends, or should we pay more on rent and move closer?  After number crunching and much thought, we decided it would be best to move to West Jordan.  The next problem was our lease.

The beginning of August, right after receiving the new job,  I informed the property management people that we would probably be breaking our lease and moving, so they needed to get on the bandwagon and find someone to rent the house.  We didn't want to break the lease, but moving to West Jordan would put me 5 minutes away from work instead of almost an hour away.

The beginning of August I began packing.  By the way, I HATE PACKING!  Members from our ward came out the night before we moved and helped us load up the U-haul truck.  Saying goodbye wasn't easy.  The morning we left I put the last box into my car, and just stood looking at the front of our house...in tears.  I didn't want to go, plain and simple.  I wanted to unload the truck myself, unpack all the boxes, and continue living in a place I had grown to love, and go back to the job I loved more than anything.  Since that wasn't going to happen, off we went.

We now live closer to the Salt Lake airport.  I LOVE hearing the planes that are preparing to land. We also live across from a small airport that is used for flying lessons.  There are a lot of military helicopters in the area, and where they are the coolest thing to see flying in the air, they are SO VERY LOUD!  

I began training for my new job, and was looking forward to the new school year.  I was sad to move, but grateful for the new job that came so quickly and looked promising.  Well, it hasn't been the easiest transition.  We're almost 7 weeks into the new school year and job.  I keep thinking that things will get easier; and they aren't.  I seem to take 1 step forward, and 2 steps back.  I am busier than ever with things that, as a teacher, I shouldn't have to be dealing with.  I've developed an insane caffeine addiction...the people working at the gas station around the corner from our house practically know me by name, and I continue to gain weight.  Oh well, with all the stuff on my plate, who has time to exercise anyway?!?  No matter how much I remind myself each day to be positive and look for the good things in life, I'm just not happy.  I miss my friends, our old house, ward, and most of all...my old job.  I've been back to Tooele a few times since we've moved, and it's been too much for me.  I've had to avoid driving by the school while driving into Tooele.  We all knew each other's first names, what was happening in our lives...we were family.  I lost my family when I lost that job.  That is what hurts the most.

To makes matters even more fun, the house in Tooele hasn't rented yet, because the property management company has been sitting on their butts doing nothing to get it rented.  So the landlords are mad at us, which I understand.  I'm frustrated because they've known about this since the beginning of August...plenty of time to find another family to rent it, in my opinion.  Moving back over the mountain has proven to be more expensive, too.  You'd think that making more money would mean you'd have more money....I should know better by now!  Since there's only 3 of us in our family, a ridiculous amount of money comes out of my checks so that we avoid owing money come tax season.  Medical insurance will begin to be taken out next month, and the price of that is going up quite a bit too.  (Again, thank you to Obama and his STUPID "insurance" idea) When that happens, I'll end up taking home less each month than I did when we were in Tooele!!

My health is also getting worse, and I'm now on another medication to hopefully give me better control.

I know that this was the right choice.  Of the 3 job offers I received that day, I know this was the job I was supposed to take.  I also know this is where we were supposed to move to.  What I'm struggling with is this:  WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?  WHY am I so unhappy when I know this is where we're supposed to be?

 I'm tired of not knowing WHY we're here. WHY did this all have to happen to begin with?  WHY wasn't this entire issue worked out when those involved didn't want me to loose my job and fought to keep me at the school to begin with?  I have ideas about that one, but you'll have to ask me!!

I was happy in Tooele, making a difference, working with people I adore, at a school Brandon LOVED.  I was finally making friends, which is something that doesn't come easily for me.  We were in a house that, where it had flaws, on a whole, we LOVED.

AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel a little better now.  Okay, not really, but venting is always healthy, in my opinion!

I'll leave you with three quotes that I found.  These are easier said than done, but I'm working on it!

Trust me, I'm trying VERY, VERY HARD to remember all these things!

When God Closes A Door...

somewhere he opens a window...or two, or three, or four!

The past 5 days have been the most incredible of my life.  I have found myself feeling the deepest sorrow, and the greatest joy.  Friends I was aware of, and friends that have always been there, just in the background, have rallied around me to show their love and support in ways that I never thought possible.

Last Friday I found myself in a situation no one ever wants to be in:  needing new employment.  After spending a few hours crying, I gathered myself together and got to work.  I would much rather have curled up into the fetal position, crawled into bed, and eaten chocolate while watching Burn Notice, (especially since my marathon has yet to be completed!) but I needed a job, and quickly.

By Sunday evening I had applied for over 35 jobs in 4 different school districts.  As of yesterday morning (Tuesday), I had 3 interviews set up just for that day, which was amazing.  That was a first for me.  I was hopeful that one of these positions would pan out.

My confidence had been shaken to its core.  I was doubting my abilities, I was scared, and didn't know what I was going to do.  That's when the cavalry arrived.  Actually, that's when the entire ARMY arrived!  As word began to spread Friday about what happened, my phone started ringing, text messages started flowing in, and they didn't stop until Sunday night!  Friends and family wanted to know how I was doing, if there was anything they could do for me, and encouraged me not to give up.  I was blown away by just how many people took time out of their day to contact me.  One friend called me four times throughout the day on Friday, because she wanted to check up on me!

Friday afternoon as I began updating my resume and applying for jobs, I asked former coworkers for letters of recommendation.  Not only were they incredible about getting them to me quickly, but they were the most AMAZING letters I've ever received!  Tears flowed as I read what was written about me and what I have to offer as a teacher.  These letters lifted me up when I needed it the most.  To those of you who wrote them:  thank you will NEVER be enough.  I went from feeling like garbage, to knowing that I have value.

I had been going non-stop since Friday.  To add to the stress of everything in life, my car decided that NOW was the time to stop working.  We had taken it to be diagnosed on Saturday.  Some issues were found, and then Saturday afternoon, once we were home, my transmission began showing signs that it was dying.  When being put into reverse, and every time it would switch gears, it would buck.  Not just a small buck, I mean a HUGE, freak-you-out, jolt you forward buck.  Great, just great.  It's the scariest when it goes from 1st to 2nd, but it's enough to worry the average person.  I am scared to death of car trouble, so this hasn't helped at all.  This is the 2nd transmission my car has had, so to say I'm unhappy would be a huge understatement!

Tuesday (yesterday) came and it was time to interview.  I got into my car and took Brandon around the block to a friend from church who was going to watch him.  Going around the block in my car was enough to make me nervous.  We were engaged in small talk, when my car trouble came up.  My friend offered to loan me her car for the day, which I couldn't believe.  I kindly said thanks, but no, and left.  I was 3 blocks away when my phone rang.  It was my friend.  She had been talking to her husband, and they insisted that I come back and use their car since I would be going to quite a few places that day and they wanted me to be able to focus on my interviews without the stress of whether my car was going to work.  So off I went in what I consider a luxury car, compared to mine; another unexpected and welcomed blessing.

My interviews went really well.  After the first one, at a public school in Salt Lake City for 5th grade,  I had an email on my phone asking if I could interview at another school that day.  So I ended up with a FOURTH interview! Wow.  My second interview was at a charter school in West Jordan for 3rd grade.  When I left that interview, I had been all but offered the position.  The 3rd interview was also at a charter school in West Jordan for 5th grade.  I had only been out of the 3rd interview for about 5 minutes when I received a phone call from the director offering me the position! I have never heard back from a potential employer THAT quickly!  The 4th interview, at a public school here in Tooele for 6th grade, went well, and I was home by about 4pm.

And then something monumental happened for me.  I've never had the opportunity to be able to think about the pros and cons of potential jobs.  I've only been offered one at a time in the past.  By 5pm, I had 3 of the 4 schools offering me the position that I had interviewed for!  I was STUNNED. I even had my phone ring 2 more times that night with principals asking for an interview, which I declined because I already had 3 great offers and A LOT to think about!  The people I interviewed with were very impressed with my letters of recommendation; so again, thank you ladies for helping me land three offers!

That night friends were all excited and curious about what had happened, and which school I was going to choose.  Instead of having a TON of  individual conversations about it, I figured I'd write a blog post so all my fabulous friends could satisfy their curiosity!  So, where will I be teaching?  In the end it wasn't that tough a decision to make.  I am a charter school teacher, and I LOVE to teach using Direct Instruction.  I will be teaching 3rd grade at.....

Navigator Pointe Academy

This school in is West Jordan, Utah, and they use Direct Instruction teaching methods, and teach the same spelling, reading and math programs that I've been teaching the past 3 years.  I am so excited to meet new teachers and students.  This will be a wonderful place to work.  Brandon is also very excited to meet new teachers and students.  He's even more excited that I'll be teaching 3rd grade.  He's in 2nd this year, so he knows that means I'll be nearby.

I want to take a moment to thank EVERYONE who has helped me the past 6 days.  Your support, no matter how you gave it to me, is recognized and appreciated.  Pep talks, sweet, uplifting comments, a listening ear, watching Brandon, letting me borrow your car, copying resume information for me since my printer doesn't work; HOWEVER you helped me, it won't be forgotten.  This journey has shown me just how blessed I am, and I love you all very much.  My heart is full, and I see the many ways my family has been blessed.  In the past, I've gone days, weeks, even months before landing a teaching job.  This all started last Thursday, and was over 5 days later.  

IN.CRE.DI.BLE

We don't know if we'll be moving to West Jordan or not.  From Tooele, it's a 45 minute drive both ways.  I hate commuting, so we will see what happens with that.  For now, I'm just so grateful for all the wonderful people I have in my life, and the blessings that have been given to us.

Training doesn't start for me until the 18th of August, so it looks like I'll be able to finish my Burn Notice marathon after all!!

30 Days of July, 2014: Day 5

A Picture of Something/Someone That Made Your Day

A Look Back At Our Life...Happy Anniversary!!

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary.  In the 9 years we've been together, we, like many people, have had our ups and downs, and trials that we've had to go through.  These trials have made us stronger, and we've grown closer together because of them.

We have a different story, one that inspires people (or so I've been told).  We got married, divorced, and then re-married each other.  Below is our wonderful story.

These are some of the trials during the first few years of our marriage:

Our First Marriage

Finding Our Way Back Home

My Sweet Miracle Baby Boy


Our family picture, June 2013

These are some of our more recent trials.

A Trial Of Your Faith

Miscarriage Taboo

VNS Surgery

Emotions I Didn't Expect

Something Just Isn't Right


Through it all, we've turned to each other and our love has grown.  I made the following video about 3 years ago.  It was my first attempt at a YouTube video.  I'm not very technically savy, but I'm really proud of this!!

California Dreamin'

We just got back from spending 5 days in California.  We hadn't been there since moving to Utah on Thanksgiving day of 2010, so it was great to see family again.  To be perfectly honest, I never had the desire to go back to California.  When we moved, I never looked back!  Many people love California...wonderful for those of you that do.  I'd lived there my entire life before moving.  However, the politics of the state were just getting to be too much for me.  I was beyond thrilled to leave!

It was about a 14 hour drive to California.  When we got to the central valley, near Turlock, where we used to live, Nick and I began noticing several differences between life in Utah and life in California.

In California:
- there are no dead deer on the side of the road; they are ALL OVER THE PLACE in Utah!
- you always know which direction you're going because freeway 99 only goes north and south!
- the MOMENT we crossed the border from Nevada into California, the freeway drivers became completely impatient and rude; it took Nick about 1 hour to revert back to a "Calfornia Driver"!
- the trees in California are BREATHTAKING and there aren't a lot of them in Utah
- I haven't found any orchards or vineyards in Utah
- there is no "spaghetti bowl" in California to confuse you, or multiple freeway changes at the same time (at least in the central valley).  Most of the time in California there is 1 lane onto a freeway, and 1 lane off of a freeway!
- there aren't church houses on every corner.  We actually missed seeing them!

and the biggest difference:

- there are no temples in sight, which was really sad.  After living in the Salt Lake area for 4 years, and being able to see 4 temples throughout the valley, it was weird not seeing any.

We left early last Friday morning and arrived at our first destination Friday evening.  Nick's aunt and uncle were kind enough to let us stay with them.  Saturday they had a luncheon for us, so that family could come and see us.  They have a pool, so most of the day was spent outside.  I was suprised by how chilly it was....in central California....in JUNE!  Apparently we'd just missed the 100+ weather; the water was FREEZING!  Nick and Brandon had a blast though.





 

 



Cannon Ball!!!

 

 





 

 

Sunday we drove up to Monterey to visit Nick's grandpa.  I hadn't been to Monterey since I was a child, so this was a fun stop on our trip.  We were able to spend time not only with his grandpa, but his dad, and one of his brothers'.  We went out to Fisherman's Wharf and Brandon had his first experience with the beach.
 

 

 

 

Turns out Brandon is a HUGE fan of fried calamari.  While waiting for our dinner, he inhaled two entree plates filled with it!  Squid....my child loves squid!  I tried some of it, but it was just too rubbery for me...gross.  But watching him eat it was very entertaining!

 

Four generations of Toale men.  From left to right:  Great-grandpa (Jim Toale), Grandpa (Steve Toale), Daddy (Nick Toale), Uncle (Hans Toale), Son (Brandon Toale)


Monday Great-grandpa took us on a ride along the coast line.  It was breath-taking. 



Monday afternoon Nick's younger sister and her son came to visit.  Great-grandpa took us to the beach at Carmel.  I enjoyed the beach at the wharf on Sunday, but the beach at Carmel was the most amazing thing I've seen in years.  Brandon kept saying, "It's so beautiful!"

 







We left VERY early Tuesday morning...3am!  In the past, Brandon has complained of having an upset stomach during longer road trips, so this time I'd been giving him dramamine.  I forgot to give it to him that morning since we left so early.  We stopped to get breakfast and I gave it to him then.  Unfortunately, it was too late.  Luckily I had a Walmart bag that didn't have any holes in it because Brandon threw up his breakfast.  It sucked, but it proved that Brandon does in fact suffer from car sickness and he wasn't just faking it.  Hopefully he'll grow out of it, but it's good to know for future trips!!

It took FOREVER to get out of Nevada, and when we finally saw this...

we were BEYOND thrilled!  Grateful to be back in Utah, we were greeted with a wonderful rain storm, lightning, and a fabulous rainbow!

The first thing Nick said when we walked through the door was, "It's so good to be back home.  This is home!"

The only burn suffered from the beach was on my left foot!

Overall, it was a great trip!  I'm so glad we had the opportunity to see family, and spend time together.