2016 Politics; Is It Almost Over?

I have quite a few opinions about issues that have arisen over the past 18 months that I've grown tired of, and I'm going to share them with you today. People being offended by EVERYTHING, Black Lives Matter, and White Privilege are the main topics. However, Trump, Clinton, and even this Evan McMullin guy will be discussed.  Many of you won't agree with me, and that's fine because people today seem to have forgotten this:

This is going to be a VERY LONG and VERY OPINIONATED POST.  Where to begin, where to begin?  Well, here we go...

When we were young, we were taught that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".  It was called teasing, and sometimes even considered bullying.  Older siblings have been doing it to their younger siblings for centuries.  I was bullied in elementary school.  I believe that we all grew thicker skin because of this. What is going on with people today?  Every time you turn around someone is offended about something someone else has said. Words and phrases that have been used since the dawn of time are suddenly causing mass hysteria.  And why, you ask? Because....FEEEELINGS!

Under the First Amendment, we are given the right of free speech. These days, there are more and more words that are being added to an ever-growing "no-no" list. There are many words that I choose not to use, because I don't believe they are the most proper, but enough with trying to make people stop saying them, or feel guilty when we do. Many of us were taught to "use our words", however, these days when we do someone gets offended. Hypocrisy at it's finest.

This ridiculous "word policing" has just gone too far, and I'm so fed up with it.  I'm not encouraging people to run around and start calling people horrible names while at the grocery store, or at school, but instead, to not be so sensitive about what other people say.  Each day more and more "offensive" words are added to this list.  It's time all the women in the world put on their big girl panties, and for all the men to simply grow a pair. Oops, did I just offend you?  Oh well, I'm not apologizing for it!!

OK.  Overly sensitive, easily offended people spoken about?  Check.  Now, on to the next issue.

I can't believe how many people in the country have turned against law enforcement since this Black Lives Matter movement began.  Where I believe that the intentions of this group are, for the most part, good; police officers are men and women who go out EVERY DAY not knowing if they will come back home that night. They put their lives in danger while they protect us on a daily basis.  They run into the unknown that we are often running away from.  Are there a few law enforcement officers who are shady?  Yes, I'm sure there are. Are there a few million people in the country who are shady?  YES.  Of that I am certain.  I'm not upset about what problems Black Lives Matter is trying to expose, but rather, HOW THEY ARE DOING IT, and how they jump to conclusions before the FACTS of the case have been made clear.

The narrative is often the same.  A black man is shot by a white police officer, apparently for no reason, according to BLM protesters. Someone was there and caught the encounter on their camera.  Everyone ASSUMES it was the Police Officers fault, that he shot the person BECAUSE HE IS BLACK, not taking into account any information that was given about the suspect. or even WHAT THE SUSPECT WAS DOING!!  I'd like to think that Police Officers don't enjoy shooting people, and that they only do it if they feel their lives, or the lives of those around them, are in jeopardy.  Apparently Black Lives Matter doesn't agree because even before a few hours have been given to let law enforcement figure out what the facts of the matter are, (like the race of those involved, which shouldn't matter anymore, but unfortunately now does) violence is erupting in the city the shooting has just taken place in.

Often what the rioters don't take into account is that it's not always a white cop who kills a black man. Black officers also shoot black men, and more often than not, the person who has been shot has a lengthy criminal record, maybe the gun being used was stolen, and they chose to not follow the orders of the Police Officers! I don't believe that Police Officers don't identify themselves and I'm sure they ask multiple times for the person they are trying to arrest to follow their orders.  Instead, hatred and violence come out of many ill-informed people.

When the race riots begin, more and more INNOCENT people, and properties, who had NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CRIME are harmed.  We've gone from relatively peaceful protests years ago, to watching people try to "one up" each other regarding just how much damage can be done.

Many of the rioters are believed to be part of the Black Lives Matter movement, because they wear their shirts.  I do believe that many people with the Black Lives Matter movement have good intentions, however, this isn't just a problem that affects black people.  Every color of people out there are victims of some form of police brutality.  And where is the uproar when it comes to black-on-black crime, which is a real problem in cities like Chicago?  That seems to go unnoticed by the Black Lives Matter movement.  It seems like the only black lives that matter to them are those who are taken by police officers.  

I believe the only way to change this behavior and help our country come together instead of continuing to racially divide is for people to unite.  It's not a contest of who's suffering from the most oppression, or who's is more important.  We're all just human beings, and unity is the way out of this mess.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr once said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."  Enough is enough.

Rant on that over.  Moving on...

I'm so very tired of being accused of having some kind of advantages in life because I'm white.  I'd love to know just when in my life I've had any more privileges than anybody else.  I've been working since right after I graduated from high school.  I didn't receive any kind of college scholarship like those that are available for minorities.  I had to take out a rather large student loan that I am still paying for, and will be for years to come so that I could go to college.  I worked the ENTIRE time I went to college to pay my way through life.  I fought VERY HARD to graduate from college, due to my health issues, and worked even harder to make sure that I was employable because of said issues.  NOTHING has been handed to me on a silver platter.  20 years out of high school and I'm driving the car that I PAID FOR and have had for the past 11 years. The only thing automatic about it is the transmission.  There are no fancy bells and whistles.  Brandon thinks that all cars have windows that roll up manually, and any kids who've ever been in the car have NO IDEA how to get the windows to go down, or even how to lock the doors!! 

I continue to fight to keep myself inside the field that I worked so hard, and accrued so much debt, to graduate from college to do. And after all this time who would've ever thought that I'd be living in a small apartment instead of renting, or even OWNING my own home. Many young people today believe that EVERYTHING should be handed to them FOR FREE, simply because of the color of their skin.  Get out of my face. I am grateful for all that I have.  I realize that I do have more than some people, but I worked my butt off  to get to this point. Before you go accusing me of having been given all that I have because of the color of my skin, remember one thing:

This is the last, and biggest issue in life right now:

Is it November 8th yet?

This has been the WORST presidential election cycle since I was old enough to vote for the first time...maybe even the worst in history. Mind you, they're always uncomfortable and mean, but with social media so important to our culture today, and the media becoming less and less impartial and no longer reporting the news about EACH AND EVERY candidate EQUALLY, this election has taken on a life of its own...and I'm SO TIRED OF IT!

After 8 years of President Obama, I understand why millions of people are eager for a DRASTIC change in the leadership of our country.  I've never cared for Obama.  Since I'm conservative, his policies have rubbed me wrong since day one.  ENORMOUS steps backward have been taken when it comes to issues such as race and law enforcement, as I've already discussed. We've also witnessed the general decline of people in this country being able to use the brain that God gave them, and make decision for themselves, instead of basing them on what other people in the country do and think.  All of this has happened while under Obama's watch. What I have seen the past 8 years makes me wonder what has happened to our once proud, thriving country. Did it all start with Obama?  No, not all of it.  However, has it gotten worse under his leadership?  I absolutely believe it has.

When the primaries began almost 2 years ago, there were FAR TOO MANY Republicans seeking the office of the President.  There were around 17 people who duked it out for MONTHS, taking part in screaming matches that were called debates, until there was just one man left standing for the GOP.  Have I ever been happy about who became that last person?  OH, NO WAY!  I was always a fan of Ted Cruz.  I hope that he runs again in four years because I believe he would be a fabulous president. I'll admit that at one time I was intrigued by Donald Trump.  He said what many of the angry, frustrated people wanted to hear.  Where most politicians have always been more concerned about being politically correct, and worried about being re-elected, Trump told it like it was and many people ate it up.

The CONSTANT primary GOP debates made it difficult to stay interested in all of the candidates. There really seemed to be a debate every week.  I think that Trump fed off of this.  Instead of debates being a time for the candidates to voice their ideas and opinions, they became "must see TV", and it began to feel like we were watching a soap opera!  As the debates continued, I quickly grew tired of Trump's continued interrupting and yelling.  Many of the candidates made jabs at each other, which is normal, but they managed to do it politely, for the most part. Trump started to look like the school yard bully, and not very presidential. Unfortunately, enough people in the country didn't agree with me and he became the GOP candidate.  As my two only choices were now between Trump and Clinton, this is how I have felt ever since then:

I don't like, or trust either of them. Between Benghazi and the email server, Clinton should be in jail.  Trump is arrogant, new to politics, has many ideas that probably won't work, and doesn't play well with anyone. However, when I break down where each of them sit on issues that are important, like the 2nd Amendment, abortion, and national security, I side more with Trump.

The question plaguing most people is which one of these people do we vote for to run our country?  Many are now talking about voting for what their conscience says is best, and it's leading them away from the two most likely people who will this election.

This brings me to a former member of the CIA from Utah who is now running for president: Evan McMullin.

I've seen a rise in his popularity on Facebook as of late, and I want to express my views on him.  This man jumped into the race AFTER the primaries once he was unhappy with who the GOP candidate was.  He didn't go through the GRUELING process that all other candidates participated in.  I don't doubt his motives, but if he really wanted to be president, he should've participated in this process.  I feel like he did a HUGE disservice to the people who don't like either contending candidate by not allowing himself to be seen by the ENTIRE COUNTRY.

The majority of the country doesn't know who he is, or what his platform is.  We've never seen him in a debate, and had he participated then MILLIONS of people would've been introduced to him, seen him in action, and we might have had a LEGITIMATE alternative to Dumb and Dumber!  From the little I know about him, he is the candidate that my values and beliefs align with the most, however, there is a snowball's chance in hell that he will win.  People argue that if you vote for McMullin you aren't voting for Hilary. I completely disagree.  Like I said, the odds of him winning are slim to none. There are SO MANY different scenarios that would have to come into play before he'd even come close to the White House. Below is a link I found that explains how the stars would have to align, and what would have to happen for McMullin to become President.

Can McMullin really win the Presidency?

I fear for our country. The next president will have many difficult choices to make that have the potential to completely change the way our country has worked since its inception. Either of the main candidates pose reasons for us to be concerned.  In the end, this is how I feel:

If I could pick someone to be our president, this is the man I'd vote for...

If you've made it to the end of this post, I congratulate you.  These issues have been on my mind for quite some time.  There are so many other things I could continue to discuss, but I'd probably be writing for the next month straight, so I'll leave those for another time!

Body Image in the Media (30 Days of July, 2014: Day 14)

*Pictures of Victoria's Secrets models below. Read this post when you are away from children, and husbands!!!*

That is the moral of this post. I could simply stop here and say goodnight, but what fun would that be?!?

One reason I'm really glad that I don't have cable TV is because I don't have to see commercials focusing on a woman's body. In today's world, women are pressured to have the perfect body. If you don't look like a Victoria's Secret model, something is wrong with you; you're not considered beautiful and are looked down upon by society.

This ad says it's a collection called "I Love My Body".  I would love my body if I looked like this! I might even walk around the house in only my underwear if my body was this perfect...well, when Brandon was asleep anyway!! Here is a perfect example of what society thinks we should all look like. What a ridiculous and unrealistic ad. Not only do most of us NOT look like this, but it makes us feel like CRAP when this is thrown in our face and we DON'T look like this!

I have struggled with my weight for years. My senior year of high school I lost 20 pounds. That's my first memory of loosing weight. In my early 20's, after my first divorce, I lost 70 pounds and was in the best shape of my life. I had Brandon in my late 20's, and have struggled to loose, and keep off the weight since that time. Unfortunately my confidence in how I look depends on what number is on the scale and what size of clothing I wear. I have a feeling I'm not the only woman who has this same problem.

(Is it just me, or are these two models nowhere CLOSE to being considered "plus size"?)

When I'm heavier, I have to shop in the "plus size" section of the store, which makes me want to puke. The average dress size for an American woman is 14. Why do "plus sizes" start at 16, and why do stores have to separate the sections out? It's beyond embarrassing, and it makes me dread shopping even more. It puts a target on my back and lets everyone know that I'm the fat girl looking for clothes. It's even more embarrassing when you're at a store that doesn't sell anything that's considered "plus size", or when there is a "plus size" section, but it only has a few items to choose from.  The last way they slap you in the face is by having models who are in wonderful shape model the "plus size" clothes, like in the picture above. Thanks. I already feel horrible about how I look, but now I feel even worse. Over the past few years, stores have begun to realize that most women aren't pencil thin, (IMAGINE THAT!) and have expanded their "plus size" sections so that there actually is a selection, but I still don't agree with the separation of the sizes. All it does is continue to drive the body image problems by reminding society that some people are heavier than others and they aren't thin enough to shop in the same area as the skinny people. ENOUGH WITH "PLUS SIZE" SECTIONS!


Another way society demands women to be pencil thin is by showing us magazine covers that CONSTANTLY talk about celebrities who lost TONS of weight after having a baby. The "Body After Baby" issue is always right around the corner whenever a celebrity has a baby.

I have many problems with this. First of all, these people are rich. They can afford a personal trainer, a cook, and a nanny (so they can sleep through the night). I would be stunned if celebrities DIDN'T have their bodies back quickly with all the resources that are available to them! If I had access to a personal trainer, and a cook, I'd be 60 pounds lighter in 3 months too! This is the wrong message to send to women. We think that because they did it, we can too. Maybe we can, but it's very unrealistic and once 3 months has come, we get frustrated and often stop trying. Remember celebrities have MONEY. They probably don't work 10 hours a day only to come home and take care of a house and a family!


Technology has not helped women with their body images. Photoshop is one of the most destructive forces for a woman's self esteem. It drives into our head that everyone looks perfect except us. I forget when I see celebrities in magazines that their image has probably been photoshopped. So even the Victoria's Secret models aren't perfect before this technique is applied to their pictures! Remembering this makes me feel just a little better.

Most often you'll see this software used to help wrinkles and beauty marks on the faces in magazines magically disappear! See if you can spot the changes in the celebrity pictures below:

Look at Gwen's face. The "bags" under her eyes are gone; the small "mole" on her cheek has been removed; her chin has been altered, and her entire complexion has changed.

Even with hardly any makeup in both shots, they've managed to make Tyra look completely different. Her eye color is different; no "bags" under her eyes; and what looks like a small vein running down her forehead has been removed.

The same changes have been made with Alicia. Makeup was added, a freckle on her forehead was removed, and her complexion is now darker.

Again, head straight for the eyes. Penelope has had "bags" removed. Lines around her mouth and nose are gone, and her complexion now has a smoother look. It looks like even her hand was changed!


I saved this next picture for last because I couldn't believe how much it was altered.

If this model had been put in clothing that was flattering to her body to begin with, there would've been no need for changes! She is a beautiful woman. In regards to the changes: clearly her abdomen and "pooch" were taken away; they also made her thighs thinner. What I appreciate about her before picture is that she looks like an "every day" woman. We have rolls and pooches. Our thighs are a little chunkier. Her before picture makes me feel better about myself!

Do you wonder if the picture altering takes away from the celebrities/models self esteem at all? If I were the woman in the last picture, it might bother me.

I ask you this:  were the changes in any of these pictures necessary? Were these women ugly before photoshop was applied? NO, NO THEY WERE NOT!

How do we change this? No more photoshopping on pictures would be a great place to start. If celebrities/models/publishers/the public can't handle pictures of people with all their flaws, then don't take the pictures, publish the magazines, or buy them from the store. We need to be reminded that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY WE LOOK!

A few years ago DOVE launched a FABULOUS campaign to help shed light on the wrong message that is being sent out to women everywhere. Using the Victoria's Secret photo from above, here's the new message they were trying to spread:

REAL BEAUTY. REAL WOMEN. The ladies on the bottom are what much more of us look like. We have curves and hips. We aren't pencil thin. Our thighs are larger....BUT WHO CARES?!?

A few days ago, a singer named Colbie Caillat (who I'd never heard of) posted a new video for her song "Try". She was tired of being photoshopped, and wrote this song with that in mind. I've posted the lyrics below.


oooh
oooh

Put your makeup on/get your nails done/curl your hair/run the extra mile/keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on/don't be shy girl/take it off/this is what you want, to belong, so they like you/do you like you?

CHORUS:
You don't have to try so hard/you don't have to, give it all away/you just have to get up, get up, get up, get up/you don't have to change a single thing/you don't have to try, try, try, try

Get your shopping on/at the mall/max your credit cards/you don't have to choose, buy it all, so they like you/do they like you? Wait a second/why should you care/what they think of you/when you're all alone/by yourself, do you like you?

CHORUS

Take your makeup off/let your hair down/take a breath/look into the mirror, at yourself/don't you like you? Cause I like you

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE!

These are all messages that will help change the way the media views women. But let's face it, this has been the way we've been seen since photographs and television were invented; so unfortunately this isn't going to change any time soon.

I fight with my body image every day. I don't think I will be winning this fight in the near future. I try each day, but this idea has been planted deep into my brain. It will take more than positive phrases like the two below to help me learn to love my body no matter what it looks like.

Can a Child Make Life-Altering Decisions?

Yesterday on Facebook, a friend of mine had posted an article about a family who has decided to let their 7 year old daughter live as a boy.  The child was 5 when the decision was originally made.  This friend asked for polite comments, as he wanted to start a discussion about this topic.

Last night, it started a discussion with my husband and I.    Read the article here, and then the video is below.



Ryland is the same age as Brandon.  After watching it once, I watched it again, with Brandon in mind. It was difficult to wrap my head around this.  I realize that I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THESE PARENTS HAVE GONE THROUGH, AND I DON'T HAVE ALL THE DETAILS OF THIS STORY.  I also realize that it's NOT MY PLACE to judge them. Attempting to keep my religious beliefs out of this, since that will lead me to the NATURE vs. NUTURE part of this controversy (which I'm not interested in debating right now), I wanted to look at this as objectively as I could.  I still found many aspects of this story that bothered me a great deal.  There are many questions I wish I could ask this family.  Honest, sincere questions.


Right out of the gate, the biggest concern I have is the age of Ryland.  She was only 5 when this decision was made.  Does a 5 year old have the mental capacity to truly make this decision?  Can they really comprehend that they are the wrong gender and would rather live the rest of their life in the opposite sex?  I would argue NO.  When we are young, we say and do things because we don't fully understand. Brandon has told me on many occasions that when he grows up he wants to marry me.  Does that mean I should start planning the wedding?  NO!  I redirect him, as parents so often do, and SHOULD.  When Brandon says this to me, I let him know that mommies don't marry their children, and that mommy is married to daddy. Brandon is too young to understand what marriage is.  If Ryland had told her parents she thought she was a dog, would they have bought her a leash and started walking her around the block?


I'm very curious to know how often Ryland spoke about being a boy.  Was it a casual comment in the bathtub, like on the video, or was it a constant battle?  If it was, remember again that she was 5 when this decision was made.  Do we give 5 year olds everything they want?  We SHOULDN'T, although it's becoming more and more the norm in society.  Do you always get everything you want, even as an adult?  Probably not.  I want to look like a Victoria's Secret model, and be millions of dollars richer with a huge house.  It's not going to happen.  The video shows Ryland's life after choosing to live as a boy.  She is playing baseball; girls do that.  She is playing soccer; girls do that, too.  Who cares if she doesn't like girly stuff....neither do I.  I HATE the color pink, and I'd rather talk about Star Wars than celebrity gossip.  Does that mean that I was born in the wrong body?  What criteria is set that determines this?  The age Ryland was when this decision was made is my biggest issue with this.


What happens when Ryland hits puberty?  She will grow breasts, her hips will develop, and her period will begin.  If she is living life as a boy, I can only imagine how traumatizing this will be for her.  Heck, it's traumatizing for any girl who DOESN'T think they are the wrong gender!  Ryland is now known as as a boy.  Won't these changes alienate her from others even more?  Can her parents begin giving her testosterone injections?  I'd love to hear if/how her parents are preparing her for this, because it has the potential to lead straight to the suicide concerns her parents pointed to as one of the biggest reasons they made this decision FOR her.  (and on a side note, I'd like to know how many 5 year olds struggle with suicide?) Like I mentioned earlier, I don't believe Ryland has the mental capacity to make this decision at the age of 5.  Who knows, when Ryland hits puberty, her feelings about this may change.  And since her parents have already committed her to this life choice by allowing her to dress and look like a boy, changing the pronouns to he/him, and they've even sent letters out to people explaining the change, what happens if she does change her mind and decides she wants to be a girl? Isn't there even more potential for trauma in her life?


What would I do if this was Brandon?  He is the same age as Ryland.  He is too young to make this kind of decision.  If 5 was old enough, then states would change the parental responsibility age from 18 to 5.  It's my job to help teach and guide him, the best way I can, until he is able to make these life-altering decisions on his own.  I realize that is EXACTLY what these parents are trying to do.  This is what they believe is right for their daughter.  However, I would wait until Brandon had already gone through puberty, and was older.  I hear many stories of teenagers who struggle with this and decide to live their life as the opposite sex.  By their teenage years, where they are by no means perfect decision makers, (we never are!) they are much more mentally capable to make this decision.  There is more of an understanding about life, their bodies, and what they want.  Would I be happy?  No.  Would I understand the decision?  No.  Would I do all I could to support Brandon?  Yes.  He will always be my son, and I will always love him, no matter what choices he makes in his life...whether I agree with them or not.


The bottom line for me is this:  Do I believe a 5 year old is capable of making life-altering decisions like this? NO.  I am very curious to see what is happening with this family 5 years from now. I hope that all is well, but I have my doubts.