I will be spoiling EVERYTHING about The Rise of Skywalker, so if you haven't seen it yet, now is the time to leave; but PLEASE come back and read this once you have!
Ok, you've been warned. Continuing on.....
Just like before, to make writing this easier for me, I'm going to be using a lot of acronyms. Here is a list, to help anyone who is unfamiliar with them:
TPM= The Phantom Menace
AOTC = Attack of The Clones
TCW = The Clone Wars
ROTS = Revenge of The Sith
RO = Rogue One
ANH = A New Hope
ESB = Empire Strikes Back
ROTJ = Return of the Jedi
TFA = The Force Awakens
TLJ = The Last Jedi
TROS = The Rise of Skywalker
EU = Expanded Universe
OT = Original Trilogy
And here a new, VERY IMPORTANT acronym:
MB = Member Berries; something that evokes feelings of nostalgia. The sequel trilogy has relied HEAVILY on it
The Last Jedi forever divided the fans. Two years later people are still fighting with each other about whether this movie was the greatest thing ever made, or the worst thing to ever happen to Star Wars. To read my reviews of both The Force Awakens, and The Last Jedi, click HERE, and HERE.
I was expecting this movie to be a train wreck. I'd heard MANY of the rumors that Disney ALLOWED to surface, and figured I'd be coming out of the theater laughing. I've had 2 years to realize and digest the fact that Star Wars will never be the same while Disney owns it. Knowing this didn't make the movie any easier to stomach.
The Rise of Skywalker moves at about 1,000 MPH so that you don't realize things aren't being explained to you, the audience. From the moment the opening crawl ends until about the last 30 minutes of the movie, you aren't given the chance to breath and take in what you're watching. There are so many things happening on screen, it's frustrating and difficult to pay attention. This felt like it was 2 movies smashed into one, which was unfortunate. Had they simply SLOWED DOWN, maybe made a fourth movie, and taken their time, this had the potential to be awesome. Again, remember that Disney has done this so that you don't have the chance to recognize the plot points that make absolutely no sense. Just as you're about to catch on....BOOM....we're off to another planet or problem. It took multiple views for me to catch everything, which I also think was part of Disney's plan. Disney wants your money. I've now seen this movie 3 times, and I think I've spotted enough issues to give an accurate review. Is Disney going to be able to stick the landing for this last episode of what has now become stupidly referred to as "The Skywalker Saga"? In one word: NO.
I have SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS MOVIE. I'm going to go over the BIG, GLARING issues, and then I'm going to nitpick. Here we go.
1. The Plot
The plot is a big, fat mess. It's very difficult to explain it, so here's a video to help you out.
I think that about covers it.
2. The Return of Emperor Palpatine
The Last Jedi left JJ Abrams trapped in a corner. Not only did Ruin (Rian) Johnson butcher and kill Luke Skywalker, but he had the main villain chopped in half an hour into the movie. Where was he to go from here? Well, since JJ, Ruin, and Disney, have basically been copying and pasting from the OT, why not just keep stealing ideas? I know....let's bring back the VERY DEAD EMPEROR. Better yet, let's also reveal he's alive in the OPENING CRAWL, and expose his entire plan in the first seven minutes of the movie! We don't need to use this reveal to help build up the story! What a GREAT IDEA!
Are you kidding me? When I heard his unmistakable cackle in the trailer, I rolled my eyes so hard that I was afraid they would pop out the back of my head. Emperor Palpatine is DEAD. Vader, who had turned back to the good side, and was once again Anakin Skywalker, threw his old, wrinkly butt down the REACTOR CORE OF THE DEATH STAR.
Does anyone working at Disney and Lucasfilm remember this?
Apparently not. If this wasn't enough to convince you that he was dead, how about this, which took place about 5 minutes later?
Umm...I don't care HOW strong in the Force you are, light or dark, you're NOT GOING TO SURVIVE THIS EXPLOSION! Ian McDiarmid, the actor who has played the Emperor in all movies, said in an interview last week that he had a conversation with George Lucas a few years ago regarding whether or not the Emperor was actually dead. Lucas made it clear that the Emperor was, indeed, dead. Thanks, Disney.
So, how is it possible that Palpatine survived all of this? We aren't given an answer to this one. As Kylo Ren is walking into the new throne room, we hear Sheev (that's the Emperor's name, for those who didn't know) repeat the line he gave Anakin in ROTS:
It's later implied that he may be a clone, but nothing is ever explained. I have a feeling that the book adaptation of TROS will try to explain this away, however, I shouldn't need to read a book or a comic to get the entire story. Why wasn't Kylo Ren turned into the lead villain? He became the Supreme Leader at the end of TLJ, and this is the obvious next step. There was no need to bring Palpatine back.
3. A ZILLION Star Destroyers
While talking with Kylo during the first seven minutes of the movie, (A LOT HAPPENS in these first seven minutes!) it's also revealed that Palpatine has this MASSIVE fleet. He raises the Star Destroyers out of the water, and tells Kylo that it can all be his if he kills Rey. Umm...what?!? Where did he get the THOUSANDS of people needed to command these ships, the MONEY needed to build all of these, and while we're at it: were all the people inside these ships living underwater for the past 30 years?!? It's this kind of crap that makes me mad.
4. Death Star - Star Destroyers
Oh, did I forget to mention that now each Star Destroyer has a Death Star laser on it?!? What's better than one Death Star.....an entire PLANET that's a Death Star! What do we do when that planet is destroyed....we create an entire FLEET of Star Destroyers that have Death Star lasers on them! This is just getting dumber and dumber.
5. The Rebel Fleet
To fight against all these new and improved Star Destroyers, the Resistance (Rebellion) launches an attack. Where did all of these people come from? At the end of TLJ, a call is made for ANYONE to come and help. They all receive the message, yet NO ONE SHOWS UP. All it took was Lando and Chewie flying around the galaxy for a few hours to assemble the largest fleet we've ever seen by the Rebellion? Sure, Lando is a smooth talker, but this is a load of crap.
6. C3PO and Chewbacca
When I first saw this part of the trailer, I knew there was NO WAY ON THIS PLANET that 3PO was talking about Rey, Poe, and Finn when he was talking about taking a last look at his friends. He HAD to be seeing a picture of his actual friends during this emotional moment. You know, these guys:
This same stupid move was used earlier in the movie with Chewbacca. He's captured and being taken to a ship by The First Order. Rey attempts to bring the transport down to the ground using the Force, and it blows up. When I first saw this, my thought was, "Well, Disney is killing all of the OT characters. Guess it was Chewie's time"...and I was pissed. But no need to worry, five minutes later it's revealed that Chewie was on a different transport and he's alive. By the way, there was NO OTHER SHIP in the sky. I looked for this on my 2nd and 3rd viewing of this movie! Why does Disney even bother with this misdirection if they're going to undo it all ten minutes later? So pointless.
And while we're talking about Chewbacca, where did Maz get the medal? I heard on YouTube that in some book or comic, Han Solo had sold Luke's medal from A New Hope. That is so unbelievable. Han Solo wouldn't do that. Apparently this is the medal she gives to Chewie. I'm sorry, but this felt like a slap in the face to the fans, and the character of Chewbacca. This was one of the biggest changes the fans wished Lucas had made when he released the Special Editions back in 1997. Unfortunately, he never did.
7. Leia
Carrie Fisher died shortly after completing work on The Last Jedi. There was so much speculation about how they were going to handle her character in The Rise of Skywalker. The decision was made that unused footage of her from TFA would be how they would continue her story. Unfortunately, it was creepy. It was obvious that everyone's dialogue was written around what she had already said, and knowing that she passed on just felt weird. Leia should've been killed in the beginning of this movie, or better yet, she should've passed at the end of TLJ.
They killed Leia off in the dumbest way. She feels the need to call out to Ben, and somehow, that kills her. Luke had to physically project himself across the galaxy and engage in a lightsaber fight before he was killed (which STILL makes my blood boil), but all Leia had to do was use the Force to call out to Ben? TLJ showed us that she's not that weak in the Force. Remember "Leia Poppins"? And this movie shows us that she actually did train with Luke. So why did simply calling out to Ben kill her? Such lazy writing. And not a proper send off to a beloved character and actress.
We were given the opportunity to see characters mourn the loss of another. We were denied Luke's reaction to Han's death since Ruin decided to cut the scene from TLJ. Chewie hardly reacted to Han's death in TFA, and wasn't given a hug by Leia, but when Leia died, the fans FINALLY got to see the emotions we would expect our characters to be feeling! Watching Chewie realize that he's now lost EVERYONE was heartbreaking. It's touched me each time.
8. Luke
JJ Abrams had to retcon (retroactive continuity) A LOT of TLJ. Most of those changes came with the scene where our beloved, DEAD, COWARDLY Jedi Master reappeared. Unfortunately, this scene also created MANY more issues.
Rey went back to Ahch-To, the island where Luke hid for years. She is angry and has decided to do the same thing Luke has done...hide away. She goes to throw her lightsaber away, when suddenly it's stopped mid-air by Luke's hand, and he comes walking towards her while holding it. The theater I was in erupted in screams when this happened. I wanted to scream in excitement too, but couldn't. It was a cool shot, but there was no logic behind it.
He tells Rey that "A Jedi's weapon deserves more respect". I seriously almost choked on my popcorn when I heard that. This line was a clear "middle finger" to Ruin Johnson, but it made Luke look even dumber. If a Jedi's weapon deserves more respect, then WHY DID YOU THROW YOUR FATHER'S LIGHTSABER OVER YOUR SHOULDER AND INTO THE OCEAN?!? Luke then continues to tell Rey that he was wrong to hide away on Ahch-To, another middle finger to Ruin. That made me laugh. I have one other big problem. Luke's hair was longer in this movie than it was in TLJ. I mean, a lot longer. I caught it the moment he came on screen. HOW DOES A DEAD MAN'S HAIR GROW?
9. The Force
I need to detour here for a moment. The sequel trilogy has made a lot of people mad for many reasons. One of the most controversial issues has been how the Force can suddenly do so much more than it could before. There are new powers on display in this movie, and it's just getting ridiculous. In the past, Force Ghosts only came around to give encouragement to the Jedi, or enlighten them about things. Obi-Wan called out to Luke multiple times during ANH, and at the beginning of ESB he still only appeared briefly. Take this quote from Obi-Wan in ESB:
FORCE GHOSTS CAN'T INTERFERE with what is going on around them. Canon created. Done.
Then TLJ comes around and throws all that lore out the window. Ghost Yoda appears to Luke while he's on Ahch-To, and, well, see for yourself:
This looks like interfering to me! So, now Force Ghosts can shoot lightning from the sky?!? Gee, you think maybe Luke could've used that help in ESB when he was literally FREEZING to death on Hoth?
While talking to Rey in TROS, Ghost Luke uses the Force to pull his X-Wing up from the bottom of the ocean so that she can take it. Here is another example of something a Force Ghost shouldn't be able to do! This was a stupid call back to ESB when Luke couldn't pull it out of the swamp on Dagobah. Ooooo, Member Berries (MB)....now Luke can do it! That's so exciting! Sorry, but no. This just isn't how Star Wars has ever worked. And on a side note: my nephew called to my attention whether or not his X-Wing should even be working in the first place. We know it worked after being pulled out of the swamp, but Luke's been on the island for YEARS. It's an interesting thought.
The Force can now do pretty much anything. Another new power that has been established is the ability to heal. Early in TROS, Rey "transfers" life energy to heal a wound on this ginormous snake who is threatening to kill her, Finn, and Poe. Later on, in what must be Rey and Kylo's MILLIONTH dual, she stabs him with his lightsaber, and it looks as if he is going to die. Rey decides to use this power to heal his wound.
This new power brings TONS of plot holes with it. If you can use the Force to heal wounds, then why didn't Obi-Wan heal Qui-Gon Jinn when Darth Maul ran a lightsaber through him? Why couldn't Anakin simply heal his mother when she was beat up by the Tusken Raiders in AOTC? Luke and Anakin lost an arm. No problem, they should be able to heal themselves. If Force Healing really is a thing, then Anakin didn't need the Emperor to help save Padme from dying during childbirth....he could've saved her himself, and then the story would be over! No Darth Vader, no Empire, nothing. This power COMPLETELY changes Star Wars.
PREACH HAN SOLO, PREACH
The last new power I recognized is this ability to "force teleport". Rey and Kylo have been able to talk to each other using the Force. This I am absolutely on board with. However, in TROS, Kylo is able to pull a necklace from Rey's neck....even though she's thousands of miles away. They are able to have a dual on his ship, even though he's on a planet! This being said, I have to admit that there was one time in the movie where I really did like this ability. When Rey was able to teleport a lightsaber to the now redeemed Ben Solo, THAT was cool. I'm guessing it worked for me then because Kylo was finally a good guy and it was the climax of the movie. But, I digress.
10. Kylo Ren / Ben Solo
Over the past two years, MANY have wanted Kylo and Rey to end up together. They became known as Reylo, for those who wished it, and I never quite saw it. Sure, they were connected through the Force, but I didn't get anything romantic from it. He saved her in TLJ, but immediately went back to his evil self. He continued to fight Rey another 100 times in this movie, and it began to get old for me. I knew that there was NO WAY Disney was going to kill off Rey. But I did have a very strong feeling that they were going to kill Kylo, especially since it was obvious that he would be redeemed.
My FAVORITE scene in this ENTIRE MOVIE is right after Leia dies, and Rey heals him. Han shows up in Kylo's memory. Like Luke, Han's hair was longer than the last time Kylo saw him alive, and he has scruff on his face. When Kylo killed Han, there was no scruff on his face. WHY DID THEY DO THIS?
I couldn't believe they got Harrison Ford to come back for this 60 second scene. They practically mirror the conversation they had on the catwalk during TFA. Only this time, Han convinces Kylo to return home, and leave the dark side behind. Han touches Ben's face. He clearly has a MILLION things he wants to say to his father. Ben simply says, "Dad", and then Han Solo, our beloved scruffy looking nerf herder says, "I know". Not only was this a display of gut wrenching emotion, but it was a beautiful call back to the "I love you", "I know" phrase that Harrison Ford created in ESB. This is a MB that I will take! Kylo throws his lightsaber into the ocean, turns around, and Han is gone. It was wonderful to see a different emotion from Ben Solo. He's really good at being angry, but I fell in love with him the moment he expressed something besides anger.
Having been redeemed, Ben then goes to find Rey to help her defeat the Emperor. We watch Ben fight the Knights of Ren. I have a feeling JJ Abrams meant for this group to be much more involved in the trilogy. The scene they were in during TFA made them look like they were going to be important, but when they weren't in TLJ, they should've just been forgotten about. They're brought back here for 5 minutes, Ben kicks their butts after receiving the saber from Rey, and that's it. I'm curious to know why they turned against Ben in the first place. Were they not loyal to him? It's like when the Praetorian Guards began fighting Rey and Kylo in TLJ. Why? Shouldn't the guards have become loyal to Kylo when Snoke was killed?
Anyway, Rey kills Palpatine....because she's Rey.... however, she dies in the process. Ben manages to crawl out of the hole the Emperor had pushed him into, and uses the stupid "Force Heal" trick to bring her back to life.
I'm going to stop here for a minute and revisit this healing garbage. Not only can the Force heal, but it can now resurrect the dead? ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY KIDDING ME? Well, now there's no reason for ANYONE to EVER die! Once again, if you can now use the Force to RESURRECT people, then Qui-Gon should've been healed, Anakin's mother would be alive, and Padme never would've died. No more of this, "loosing the will to live" crap; Obi-Wan and Yoda were right there to fix things. Oh, and doesn't this also mean that at the end of ROTJ, Luke could've healed the, now redeemed, Anakin Skywalker?
JJ Abrams then makes a stupid move and decides to pander to the Reylo fans. The first thing Rey does after her resurrection is kiss Ben. I knew this was coming. I could sense it was about to happen, and then watching it, I wanted to throw up. In my opinion, there had been NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY between these two characters. Why JJ, why?
The ONLY part about this that I enjoyed was watching Ben SMILE. Unfortunately, I couldn't just find a picture of it, so excuse me while I show you a 4 second clip of his smile. I have a feeling YouTube will flag this clip and eventually take it down, so enjoy it while it's here.
Ok, I did find a picture, just not without that stupid writing in the way! The non-critic in me LOVES this picture. Adam Driver is a very handsome man. That smile is just...wow. Harrison Ford has ALWAYS been my celebrity crush, but oh man, I'm now very interested in learning more about Adam Driver.
After the ridiculous kiss, Ben died. Why? I'm guessing they'll try to explain it away by saying he had to give Rey his entire life to bring her back, thus explaining why other Jedi and people weren't saved the same way. How funny would it have been to watch them just continue bringing each other back to life?!? Now that I think about it, ALL OF THE JEDI were just with Rey to help her defeat the Emperor. Since they can now do physical things, why weren't they there to help heal Ben so that he could live his life as a redeemed Jedi Knight? On top of that, why didn't they just heal Rey to begin with? Then Ben wouldn't have had to give up his life in the first place! If they were going for an emotional impact with his death, it didn't quite resonate the way Anakin's did at the end of ROTJ. That was a father who just saved his son.
Ben Solo needed to be in this movie a whole lot longer than the 10 minutes we were given. His redemption should've happened at the beginning of the movie. It then could've focused on he and Rey working together to defeat the Emperor, then going on to train new Jedi. If they wanted to then take it in a romantic direction, go for it. The romance would've had much more time to develop and it wouldn't have seemed so out of the blue and rushed. All it took was Ben turning back to hook me on his character. Did you realize that he never spoke one line of dialogue as Ben Solo?!? We deserved to see more of this.
11. The Death of Emperor: Take 2
For 30 years the Emperor has been living on the planet Exegol, somehow building this ridiculously large fleet, and apparently being the puppet master behind turning Kylo Ren to evil. At the beginning of the movie, he wants Kylo to kill Rey and to give Kylo the fleet. Then he changes his mind and decides to try and tempt Rey to the dark side and make her the new Empress (oh, we'll get to that connection in a minute!) This is when TROS turns into Return of the Jedi 2.0. Actually, almost 3.0. We have to sit through YET ANOTHER copy and paste of the throne room scene from both ROTJ and TLJ. Palpatine attempts to convince Rey to kill him so that she can become the Empress and take control of the fleet. He opens up the ceiling and shows her how her friends are all dying in the air strike. Then he decides to just shoot lightning up to the sky and disables most of the ships. Unlike Luke, she decides to do what Palpatine wants, and is just about to give in, when she senses Ben Solo has arrived to help. That's when she "teleports" a lightsaber to Ben, and after killing the pointless Knight of Ren, he comes to help her. Palpatine then begins to drain the life out of both Ben and Rey. Doing this somehow puts all of their life into him, making him whole again, and is no longer connected to the stupid machine he's attached to. Palpatine pushes Ben over a cliff, and Rey is down for the count. (The fall that Ben took should've killed him, but oh well.)
Here is when this really just gets stupid. Rey begins to call out to all of the Jedi who have come before her, hoping they will help give her the strength to kill Palpatine. We hear the voices of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Luke, Yoda, and a few characters from other cartoons, all urging her to get up and fight, saying that they will be with her. She takes her lightsaber, stands up, and faces Palpatine.
Do you remember how the Emperor ended up with a wrinkly face to begin with? Apparently he does not. I present Exhibit A:
I don't think that you'd forget being struck by lightning bolts in the face by a lightsaber.
Having copied and pasted from almost every Star Wars movie, JJ now decides it's time to steal from another franchise: Marvel. The Emperor says, "I am all the Sith". Any idea what Rey says in return? I saw this coming a mile away, and even said it out loud in the theater. Say it with me now: "I am all the Sith", "And I am.....Iron Man". Okay, not really. She says, "And I am all the Jedi". She might as well have said Iron Man. Moving on...
Rey is facing Palpatine with her lightsaber on, and what does he do? He begins to shoot lightning at her through his fingertips like he did to Luke in ROTJ. And what does Rey do? She deflects it with her lightsaber, directly back onto his face! This man learned NOTHING. This was a stupid, stupid decision by JJ. WHY would the Emperor spend 30 YEARS preparing a plan only to loose the same way as before? Rey didn't throw him down a reactor core, but he basically melted away.
This "death" wasn't earned, and it completely takes away from Vader's sacrifice in ROTJ. Anakin gave his life to kill the man who was killing his son, and the man lived anyway. And who's to say that the Emperor won't just come back again? He's already been blown to bits once, what's a little melting away going to do? Having brought him back in the dumbest way possible, there's now no real way to know he isn't still alive, or can't find another stupid way to return.
12. Rey
For over two years people have been debating about who this character is related to. Is she a Skywalker, a Kenobi, a Solo? Well, we find out in this movie. After being told by Kylo Ren in TLJ that her parents were no one important, just people who sold her for drinking money, Disney has decided that Rey is the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine. SERIOUSLY? I believe this is once again a way to retcon her ridiculous abilities and explain why it's so easy for her to use the Force. However, this revelation only brings up more problems.
Apparently Sheev found someone to procreate with. Yuck. For years, people have speculated that the Emperor somehow impregnated Anakin's mom, Shmi, using the Force. That theory would hold up here. However, Disney has recently come out and said that theory is wrong; Palpatine isn't the father of Anakin. So who in the world did he have sex with to create a child? Again....ewwww! According to Wikipedia, he has a son. It is revealed in The Rise of Skywalker that this son married and renounced his father. They took their daughter, Rey, to the planet of Jakku. Palpatine eventually found them, and had them both killed since they wouldn't hand Rey over to him. He never found Rey.
Okay. They use Rey's lineage as a way to explain away her INSANE ability to use the Force without receiving any training at all. This is supposed to be the reason she can magically know how to use the Jedi mind trick without having ever seen it, fight like a Jedi Knight during her first battle with Kylo Ren, know about this new Force Healing power, and can suddenly man a boat across the most dangerous waters to the Death Star wreckage after having never seen rain before TLJ. Unfortunately, all this explanation did was cement her "Mary Sue" status. Luke IS a Skywalker who received training from both Obi-Wan and Yoda. He couldn't do ANY OF THE STUFF that Rey can do, and it's just stupid. He can't raise the X-Wing in ESB, he couldn't even keep the rocks raised up. And he LOST to Vader in their first battle! She NEVER LOOSES until she's face to face with Grandpa Palps.
It was upon my second viewing of the movie that I caught one of the most slap in the face moments regarding Rey. Apparently both Luke and Leia KNEW SHE WAS A PALPATINE. EXCUSE ME? Can someone explain to me how this is possible? Everyone, including Luke and Leia, thought that the Emperor was DEAD. Rey wasn't born until AFTER ROTJ. How would they have known that the dead Emperor has a granddaughter? And why train her? I'm guessing they chose to "train" her because they were hoping she wouldn't turn to the dark side. One last thing on this: why is it that Luke Skywalker almost kills his NEPHEW on PURPOSE because he senses the dark side in him, but he doesn't KILL the granddaughter of Palpatine? None of this crap makes any sense anymore.
In the end, Rey ends up with EVERYTHING that once belonged to either Luke, or Han. She doesn't earn any of it. She ends up with Luke's X-Wing, both he and Leia's lightsabers. Somehow she ends up with the Falcon when it should be with Lando and Chewie. Rey manages to find the Lars' Homestead where Luke's Aunt and Uncle lived, and we see her new lightsaber, with the hilt made from her staff. A lightsaber requires what is called a Kyber Crystal to be created. These crystals are very rare. I find it VERY hard to believe that the abandoned Homestead just happens to have a Kyber Crystal hanging around. In the end, she decides to take the name of Skywalker, because she has chosen to identify as one. When asked who she is, she responds, "Rey, Rey Skywalker". NO, NO, NO, NO, AND NO. She IS NOT A SKYWALKER. If they wanted that, then the writers should've made her one to begin with. She is a PALPATINE. Rey even took Luke's twin suns shot at the very end of the movie! Again, NO, NO, NO, AND NO. I hated when they did it at the end of ROTS, and I hate it even more at the end of TROS!
The climax of the "Skywalker Saga", a phrase I HATE, is all about two PALPATINE FAMILY MEMBERS fighting each other. It isn't even about any Skywalkers. Let that one sink in for a minute.
13. Nitpicks
The Death Star Wreckage
How is THIS MUCH of the second Death Star left, when we saw this happen to it?
The Throne Room is still there, complete with the Emperor's chair. There's even enough room for Kylo and Rey to have ANOTHER fight. I'm not buying for ONE SECOND that ANY of the Death Star remained intact.
Lando
Our favorite smooth talking smuggler deserved more time in this movie. It was so fun seeing him with the group again, and where I know that the actor Billy Dee Williams is old, and apparently doesn't walk well, they could've given him a little more to do.
More Rebellious Stormtroopers
Finn is no longer the only Stormtrooper who revolted. We're introduced to Jannah, a former Stormtrooper who, along with her entire company, decided to lay their weapons down and stop fighting. Why is there no contingency plan for this? I'm sorry, but if an entire company of troopers stopped fighting, the First Order would have them KILLED, plain and simple.
Is Finn Force Sensitive?
Besides continuing to CONSTANTLY scream Rey's name, which at this point, is BEYOND ANNOYING, it's also implied that he may be Force sensitive. He feels when Rey dies, and was wanting to tell her something when it looked like they were going to die. Maybe he just wanted to confess his love for her, which would've made A WHOLE MORE SENSE than this Reylo stuff, but oh well. One more thing that bothered me about Finn:
Are we SERIOUSLY supposed to believe that Finn, a former Stormtrooper, who left the First Order just a year ago, doesn't know that the Stormtroopers can fly?!? Jet packs have been used since Jango Fett used one in the prequels, which took place 30 YEARS before this movie!
General Hux
Hux was turned into comic relief in TLJ, so TROS had to come up with something, anything for him to do. Turns out, there's a mole in the First Order, and we're supposed to believe the story that it's him. OH REALLY?!? Two movies ago, in TFA, he delivers this Nazi-like speech about destroying the Rebellion. He watched as Starkiller Base blew up three or four planets right in front of him. Now we're supposed to believe that he's a spy? And the reason he's now a spy? He hates Kylo Ren more than he wants to First Order to win. HOW STUPID! I liked the reveal, but it was useless because two scenes later, he's killed. Hux will join Boba Fett, and Captain Phasma in the group of bad guys whose deaths, and characters, were completely pointless.
Rose
Here's one thing I was COMPLETELY okay with. Rose Tico, one of the most ridiculous characters ever created in Star Wars, was given the Jar Jar treatment in this movie. What does the "Jar Jar treatment" mean? Well, when the prequels came out, people DESPISED the character of Jar Jar Binks. If you'll notice, he had one scene in AOTC, and I think only one in ROTS. The nitpick here is that some are going ballistic over her removal, crying people are racist, and crap like that. No, we just hated this poorly written character, who in the end was the reason the rebel base was blown up in TLJ. If she'd let Finn make his self-sacrifice, the cannon would've been destroyed.
Lingering Questions:
How did Maz get Luke's lightsaber that was lost during his fight with Vader on Bespin?
- Well, we're never going to know this answer. Explain it away in a book all you want, but if it's important, and it is to MANY fans, PUT IT IN THE MOVIE!
How did Kylo Ren get Vader's mask?
- I really wanted to know the answer to this one. Somehow it managed to survive the funeral pyre that Luke created after Vader's death while he was on Endor, but come on, how did he get it?
Why was there a map to Luke Skywalker when he didn't want to be found?
- This was all Ruin Johnson's fault. I don't think this is where JJ was going with this. I believe he had a reason. However, we will never know. And that makes me mad.
So, there's my review. In the end, I enjoyed this movie more than TLJ. Unfortunately, there were just too many things happening, too many plot points that made no sense, or changed the lore, and like I said earlier, it felt like two movies squished into one. I could continue with this review, because trust me, I have MANY MORE ISSUES. However, my brain hurts, and frankly, I'm tired of talking about Disney Star Wars, a phrase that the sequel trilogy has become known as.
There was SO MUCH potential with this trilogy. While finishing this post today, I was watching a special on the making of TFA, and my heart just dropped. Disney was handed the keys to the kingdom by George Lucas. He even gave them story outlines, despite Disney saying they had nothing to work with.....liars. I wish that George Lucas hadn't sold Star Wars to Disney. I was SO EXCITED about it when the new trilogy was announced, but hindsight is 20/20. I wish the sequel trilogy didn't exist. As far as I'm concerned, Star Wars ends with ROTJ. The bummer is that no matter how hard I try to put these three movies out of my mind, they'll still always be there. My canon is the EU. The books that I have grown to love. The stories these books tell about our beloved heroes and were canon for almost 25 years. That will be my canon from here on out.
Geez Wendy, it sounds like you just hate Star Wars. I LOVE STAR WARS. That's why I'm so angry about all of this. Some may think I'm crazy to put this much thought into a movie. Maybe, but Star Wars has been an important part of my life for DECADES. I am PASSIONATE about these stories and characters. Watching Disney run my beloved franchise into the ground has just hurt my soul. I fear that these movies will make Star Wars irrelevant; that in 10 or 20 years it will no longer be remembered. My wish is that Disney simply leaves Star Wars alone for quite some time. I won't be watching any future stand alone films. I hear the TV show The Mandalorian is great, but I won't pay for Disney Plus. In a few years, when the Obi-Wan Kenobi series fans have BEGGED for finally comes out, I'll pay to check that out. Ewan McGregor is the BEST part of the prequels, and I look forward to seeing that series.
To end on a positive note, here is a video I found that celebrates the Original Trilogy. A time before both the Prequel and Sequel trilogies existed. Enjoy.
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