It's Starting to Get Real

Saturday was the first time I was able to feel the lump in my breast.  If I had thought to check earlier, I would've discovered it prior to last week.  It started to sink in a little more when that happened.  Over the weekend as people read my blog, I began to receive a lot of supportive comments from friends and family.  My appointment with the surgeon was scheduled for today (Tuesday).  Over the weekend I spent a few hours watching videos about cancer and chemotherapy, and I was able to compile a list of questions that I needed to ask the surgeon.  It became a waiting game.  And it was a LONG 5 days.

Heading to my appointment this afternoon, my nerves were getting the best of me, and I was emotional.  My surgeon is fantastic.  She took over an hour with us, explaining everything, drawing pictures, and writing down the "dumbed down" definitions to all of these new words and phrases we're being bombarded with.  

I'm going to be VERY BLUNT with my descriptions, and just lay it all out there.  I see this as a way to bring awareness and knowledge to other people about breast cancer, much like my blog posts regarding my seizure disorder and surgeries have done.  So here is the "dumbed down" news from today:

I have a benign mass in my left breast that measures 1.3 centimeters.  This will not be removed right now.  I will have mammograms every 6 months to make sure it isn't growing.  After two years, if it still hasn't become cancerous, it most likely won't.  I can choose to have it removed at any time, which I will probably do in the future.  I'd rather have it gone and not have to worry about it.

I have a cancerous mass in my right breast that measures 3.4 x 2.6 x 2.6 centimeters.  It needs to be removed.  My surgeon has said that I need to have the surgery done in the next 6 - 8 weeks, so this is not a DO IT NOW situation, which is wonderful.  

There are quite a few steps that need to be taken BEFORE I have surgery.  First, I will meet with a genetic counselor for more testing.  Doctors need to know if my genes show that the cancer is likely to return.  This will determine which type of surgery I have.  It takes about 5 business days to receive the results from this test.  If testing shows the cancer will return, I'll need a mastectomy.  The idea of that scares me to death.  If the cancer is not likely to return, I will have what they call "breast conservation" surgery.  This includes a lumpectomy and oncoplastic reduction, where the fatty tissue in my breast will be moved around to help fill in the hole being left behind, along with removing any excess skin.  A Sentinel Lymph Node Biopsy will also be done during surgery where they will harvest a few lymph nodes from my arm pit to make sure the cancer hasn't metastasized.  

The mass and lymph nodes will then be taken to pathology where it will take 7 - 10 BUSINESS DAYS to determine whether or not I will need chemotherapy.  THAT will be a VERY LONG WAIT while I recover from surgery.  The lumpectomy surgery will take about 10 days to recover from.  A mastectomy will take about four weeks to recover from.  I will need radiation either way.  Radiation is given 5 days a week, for only 20 minutes.  How many weeks the treatment will last can't be determined until after surgery.  The surgeon said it makes some people very tired, but it is different for everyone.  It would be FANTASTIC if I only had to do radiation.  Chemotherapy takes MUCH longer, and breaks down your body, making it difficult to do ANYTHING.

Once the surgeries and treatments are completed, I can decide if I would like reconstruction surgery done on my left breast, helping to create symmetry once again.  That would be the best time to also have the benign mass removed.  

So I'm once again in a holding pattern.  This truly is a "one step at a time" process, which is so frustrating.  I won't know WHAT surgery I can have until the genetic counseling information comes back.  I won't know WHEN I can have surgery until the counseling comes back.  I won't know HOW LONG I'll need radiation until after the surgery.  I won't know IF I'll need chemotherapy until after the surgery.  This many unknowns would make anyone crazy.  It makes me want to SCREAM!

I REALLY don't like the color PINK.  In fact, I HATE the color PINK!  The "official" color for all things breast cancer related.....is PINK!  Figures.  Guess I'll have to get used to it.  I'll keep you all posted.